As a parent I learn a new thing everyday. In the last two months I learned that baby teeth can get cavities; that kids will stick pretty much anything up their noses; and I learned about something I hope no other parent reading this has to experience. But if you do, I don’t want you to be as in the dark as I was when it happened.
You know the old tale about kids holding their breath until they turn blue? Well, I always thought that was just a metaphor to describe how far a kid will go to get what he or she wants – it’s not a metaphor and it’s not on purpose.
I had never heard of “breath holding spells” (or BHS) until my son had one on Thanksgiving Day. First of all, let me just say that Thanksgiving was great. I had some family and friends over. The kids ran around the house and had a great time. Since it was 3 days after my nieces’ 7th birthday and 1 day before my son turned 4, we had a little birthday celebration in addition to turkey and the trimmings.
The kids were running circles around the house and like every parent of 3 and 4 year olds we hoped all the excitement would tire them out…early. We were watching them the whole time except for when one child slammed a door hitting my son in the face as he was running. I heard him cry and knew it was that “I’m hurt cry” so I jumped up and starting walking to where he was. He was coming toward me at the same time – still crying.
I knelt down and was checking for injuries when all of a sudden his head dropped back and his eyes rolled into his head. I shook him slightly calling his name because…well…it seemed the thing to do at that moment. Then he turned blue and his eyes were staring blankly. Later, my friend told me that I was shouting for my husband and telling Evan to breathe, but all I really remember doing was throwing him over my arm and smacking him on the back because to me turning blue meant he was choking. Suddenly he started to cry again and I just held him and rocked him while he complained about the injustice of the door slam. At that moment, I knew he was okay, but what the hell just happened? It just took seconds. I had absolutely no idea what I had just seen. I looked over at my sister-in-law and kept saying, “he turned blue.” My sister-in-law said her friend’s child had had these episodes and she called it a “fainting spell.” But if he turned blue he must have stopped breathing, right?
When everyone went home – and I think that incident cleared my house pretty quickly, I called the pediatrician. She said she wasn’t sure what it was and I should take him to the ER to make sure it wasn’t a seizure – so that’s where we wound up on Thanksgiving night.
After my description of the incident to the ER doctor, and before anyone had even looked at Evan, they told me it sounded like a “breath holding spell.” All I could say is, “a what?” They said it is quite common in young children and they grow out of it by about the age of 7. Then they did an EKG to rule out any heart-related issues.
I had a moment where I felt like I was dreaming. If this was so common, why hadn’t I ever heard of it? Why hadn’t any other mom I knew ever talked about it? What is it heck is a “breath holding spell?” And, if I didn’t know about this, what other horrible surprises await my motherhood?
After polling moms in the Northern New Jersey Chapter of Motherhood Later Than Sooner, I discovered that the doctors were right – while it may not be an everyday occurrence for most – it’s not a rare one either. Out of the responses I received: one person knew someone whose child had had one of these spells, another one had a child who had had one at the age of two and yet another told me that she used to have them herself as a child. If it happens as often as this, why don’t most of us know about it? Is it because it’s harmless to the child so no need to fuss? Well, thank heaven it is harmless to my son, but I’ll tell ya’ right now…it’s not harmless to the parent. I died a hundred times over from the time it happened to the reliving of it over the next several days.
I am writing this mainly to spread the word. If it happens to your child, you should definitely call your pediatrician if not an ambulance depending on the situation. You should get your child thoroughly checked out to rule out any kind of seizure or heart disorder. If everything turns out okay, you just have to hope it was a one-off but brace yourself for a recurrence. If it does become a recurring problem, the one thing BHS-veteran moms seem to agree upon is this: before your child passes out, blow in his/her face. For some reasons this action kick-starts their breathing. They say it works like a charm.
Now it’s my turn to hold my breath as I hope to fall into the “one-off” category because, honestly, while he might be fine, I’m not sure I will be.
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